Why Won’t Anyone Listen to Me?

(This article was received intuitively from my non-physical spiritual “Team.”)

Most of you have experienced witnessing a friend or relative in a challenging situation. And because you are helpers and healers by nature, you want to bring everyone and everything into balance. You see friends or relatives struggling with health, relationship, or work issues, and from your perspective, you clearly see what they need to do to improve their situation. You look for an opportunity to provide your sage advice, or even act on someone’s behalf. When you are finally able to impart your wisdom, your friends or relatives are quite reluctant—perhaps even hostile—to your advice.

So, what’s up with these ingrates?! Don’t they value the wise advice you give them? Don’t they value your help? Don’t they value you? Don’t they want to address their situation? Are they just too darn lazy to help themselves?

How frustrating for you!

First, let us assure you that this has nothing to do with how they feel about you.

Humans come to Earth to challenge themselves, to learn and grow from every experience. From babies who learn crying will get them fed, to young children learning to color inside the lines, to men who take apart car engines only to put them back again, to scientists searching for cures for disease—everyone comes here with the strong innate desire to solve their own “puzzles” and make their own decisions from birth to death.

If you’re a parent, you noticed how many times even your very young children resisted your help. (”I want to do it myself!”) Each time they solved a problem on their own, they felt very self-satisfied and more grown up. These feelings of self-satisfaction also reinforce self-love and self-confidence.

Indeed, some humans may get derailed and temporarily lose some or all of that desire through abuse, trauma, substance abuse, or mental illness. Starting as children, unsolicited advice can be interpreted as an indication that they are not clever enough to figure things out on their own and it can be very demoralizing and disempowering for them. (“Stop treating me like a baby!”)

To empower children, it’s best if parents offer choices, rather than dictate. When children are dictated to, it may create significant rebellion or create a person who cannot make any of their own decisions and may even have a difficult time navigating their adult worlds. Allowing kids to choose and problem solve on their own empowers kids, while dictating to them or acting on their behalf (i.e., homework) is disempowering and may stunt their maturity.

Here are some examples of why humans may resist unsolicited advice:

They desire the self-satisfaction, self-confidence, and even self-love, they will gain from problem solving.
They were dictated to as a child and are very sensitive to being told what to do and how to do it.
They were made to feel stupid as a child and feel that unsolicited advice suggests they are not clever enough to solve their own problems and they will exhaust all their possible solutions before seeking help.
They are simply not ready to make changes. They may fear change, making a wrong decision, or feel that nothing they do will help them.

So, what can you do to help?

Most importantly, recognize that everybody has a Higher Being who will gently nudge their human in the direction of the most benevolent outcome. Very simplistically, this is different from Spirit Guides and Angels who follow requests, but do not make suggestions. Spirit Guides assist in creating beneficial situations for you once you have consciously or subconsciously chosen a path. Angels are always available to help but will not step in until they are consciously asked (verbally or non-verbally).

Second, lead by example. Your behavior will show them what is possible.

Just listen. You can ask if they are open to suggestions, but wait for their response, rather than using that question as a lead-in for offering advice. Your friends and relatives know you want to help and will seek you out for advice or other help when they are ready.

Lastly, privately send love and picture them as whole and happy without any agenda as to how that came about.

We can’t finish this article without mentioning what motivates humans to offer unsolicited advice or actions. Sometimes it’s as simple as just feeling good knowing you can help change someone’s life for the better. Maybe you recognize that we are all connected and helping and healing others also helps you. Additionally, it helps ease your anxiety for them. If a loved one is in a difficult place, not only do you want the best for them, but you also want to relieve your own distress. This is one aspect of co-dependence—linking your emotional state to that of another (another article one of these days).

We hope this helps ease your frustration and gain a better understanding of when and how to help those in need.